I just lost another friend. A very good friend of mine. One that i can share my secerts with. It was my fault. She had trust me so much but i failed her. I hurted her badly. I know that once trust is lost, two person cannot be friends anymore. I cried the whole of last night, reflecting on whats wrong with myself, praying, understanding the scriptures from the bible. ( ROMANS 8:14-25 ). I know that whatever i do now, it will not make a difference. I do not expect her to forgive me. even if she does, our friendship will not be as good as before. I would like to say i am sorry again.

I guess i am pretty screwed up, losing friend after friend. The drive of my life is to make a difference in the lives of people i loved. I did it, just not the way i intented to. I really very sad. I know whats wrong with myself. I like to do wrong things on purpose. Sounds stupid , isn't it. I like to know how people react to different situations, so i do bad things on purpose to test them. So i end up hurting people's hearts. lolz......... But i guess this is needed to find out who really is worth my love.